Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. ~ Winston Churchill
Many of us avoid firsts. We avoid the challenge associated with change, we cling to the familiar. Psychologists use the term homeostasis to describe the state of emotional equilibrium we prefer. We refuse to budge even from destructive circumstances to avoid the insecurity of the unknown.
We fear potential humiliation, the possibility of exposure, more than our present pain.
Why? Because we remember what it felt like to fail.
First Day Fail
My first day of third grade, new school, new town, new state. I was the last to finish my assigned essay, “What I did during my summer vacation.” I was slower than the rest because, as Kenny, the boy seated next to me, loudly informed the teacher, I was not writing in cursive! I stared at my paper in misery–in the clash of curriculums I hadn’t yet learned how to not print.
Trust me, I went home and taught myself; public shame is a powerful motivator.
An eight year old can’t avoid those tough moments. The decision to move to a strange, new community a continent away was not mine to make. But as an adult I have moved, have stepped into new settings, and it is always the same. In a new place, attempting a new task, you cannot know what you don’t know. And the Kenny’s of the world will always be there.
But failure is not the end, it is a sign post to the better end God has in mind. I learned two important lessons that first day of third grade:
- I can teach myself.
- I can survive criticism.
I’d call that a successful first day.
Image credit jenswessling at flickr
12 replies on “Avoiding Failure”
Janet, the raw honesty of your blog is going to make this a favorite of mine. Like moth to flame, nothing draws one into conversation quicker than authentic personal disclosure. By the way, fear of failure (or perhaps of success) has dogged me for most of my life.
Thank you.
Robert, I do sense your love for honesty, and why I appreciate your writing as well. God bless you!
Wow Janet,
You write my heart, yet again.
This is simply beautiful. I feel my own pain, shame, knowing….
yet a bigger emotion of joy, hope and strength.
Kudos my dear friend!
PLEASE keep it coming.
Laurie, I know your heart is on the same journey as mine!
Janet, So glad to see you are blogging. Nice post – looking forward to more! Laurie
Great to hear from you, Laurie! Thank you for stopping by!
What have I learned from failure? I’ve learned that I don’t always have the answers and that’s OK. Thank you, Janet for starting this blog. I look forward to reading many more of your posts.
-Claudia
Claudia, There is great wisdom there–who convinced us we had to have all the answers? Thank you for sharing that!
Well said! Sometimes I have to remind myself of those two important lessons you learned. 🙂 Looking forward to the next blog.
Rebecca, good point! I didn’t exactly retire at 8 from needing to learn them myself. I’m glad to see you here.
I’ve learned that things always look a little brighter the day after I’ve failed, so I am encouraged not to dwell on it today.
Wise words, Deb. It’s great to hear from you!